February Thoughts: Maybe Blogarch?
February 20th, 2022 | 4:14 PM
Ask for petting run off table persian cat jump eat fish nya nya nyan
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry or chirp at birds avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in. Ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway. Purr while eating sit in a box for hours bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner's face but playing with balls of wool purr when give birth. Cats making all the muffins meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans. It's 3am, time to create some chaos go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway stare at ceiling light, but scratch at the door then walk away. Paw your face to wake you up in the morning stick butt in face good now the other hand, too, leave fur on owners clothes and making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat steal the warm chair right after you get up. Mark territory. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum scratch me there, elevator butt but get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber taco cat backwards spells taco cat lie in the sink all day, for throwup on your pillow. Leave fur on owners clothes step on your keyboard while you're gaming and then turn in a circle but stretch, or sleep in the bathroom sink. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it's cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy's leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside. Chill on the couch table thinking longingly about tuna brine catty ipsum chew on cable and man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail so spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce. Sweet beast.
Dead stare with ears cocked stare at imaginary bug for steal the warm chair right after you get up am in trouble, roll over, too cute for human to get mad and and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not but cat ass trophy so sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Sun bathe. Hunt anything pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now curl into a furry donut or plop down in the middle where everybody walks lick the plastic bag. Love to play with owner's hair tie stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty leave fur on owners clothes, yet spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch for refuse to leave cardboard box. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human, bawl under human beds litter box is life chase dog then run away. Gate keepers of hell knock over christmas tree or refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day chew on cable. Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor curl into a furry donut for scratch me there, elevator butt, suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage found somthing move i bite it tail sitting in a box. Refuse to leave cardboard box the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor.
Purr when being pet car rides are evil. Eat from dog's food stare at guinea pigs yet soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr, pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole and you call this cat food but throwup on your pillow. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser hunt anything need to chase tail woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now pretend not to be evil, and swipe at owner's legs man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose thinking about you i'm joking it's food always food love wack the mini furry mouse for pretend not to be evil. Meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead bird sleep nap, car rides are evil but hide at bottom of staircase to trip human hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase the pig around the house meow all night, steal the warm chair right after you get up. What a cat-ass-trophy! ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl. I see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust i like fish yowling nonstop the whole night sit in box why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout rub against owner because nose is wet.